American Zick Rubin developed a love measurement tool in 1970! His original research involved interviewing students and having them answer over 80 questions on liking and love, analysis revealed love for partners and liking for friends as different things. Based on his research he believes that romantic love is made up of three elements:
-Attachment: the need to be cared for and be with the other person
-Caring: valuing the other persons happiness and needs as much as your own
-Intimacy: sharing private thoughts, feelings and desires with the other person
He’s identified 13 questions you need to answer in order to assess the strength of your romantic love... have a shot and let me know how you get on!
1. If [loved one] were feeling badly, my first duty would be to cheer him/her up.
2. I feel that I can confide in [loved one] about virtually everything.
3. I find it easy to ignore [loved one]’s faults.
4. I would do almost anything for [loved one].
5. I feel very possessive toward [loved one].
6. If I could never be with [loved one], I would feel miserable.
7. If I were lonely, my first thought would be to seek [loved one] out.
8. One of my primary concerns is [loved one]’s welfare.
9. I would forgive [loved one] for practically anything.
10. I feel responsible for [loved one]’s well being.
11. When I am with [loved one], I spend a good deal of time just looking at him/her.
12. I would greatly enjoy being confided in by [loved one].
13. It would be hard for me to get along without [loved one].
(Although, perhaps, romantic love and the elements he put into his study don’t capture all of the elements we would consider to be love? I think Sternberg would say it’s only ‘Companionate Love’ he is measuring and where is the ‘Passion’?)
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